The Peanut Tracker

So here’s the latest on our family sleep situation: we’re all getting a bit now, thank God.

Turns out, as we had been beginning to suspect, Elliot’s arch-nemesis from his early weeks, though we’d thought vanquished by the muscles of maturity, has “lived to fight another day”–yes, the evil Infant Reflux.

However, thankfully, Elliot’s new pediatrician, who we’d selected pretty much at random from the pediatricians in our vicinity, just so happens to be concerned about and studied up on reflux in babies (which isn’t as common among doctors as you might think). She even knows the pediatrician who wrote the book about reflux we’d bought months ago, Colic Solved. What are the chances of that? Of getting a pediatrician, in our (very close) vicinity, who is both concerned about and studied up on infant reflux? And who even knows the author of the book about infant reflux we’d purchased? Weird. And cool.

Anyhow, she was concerned about Elliot from our very first appointment with her, having heard a few of the more subtle symptoms of reflux. After a week of monitoring the symptoms, and those symtpoms continuing–including his sleeping worsening–she had us start him on some medicine to help fight his reflux. And a day or two later, whaddya know, Elliot was sleeping straight through the night. (Not to mention his parents getting some much-needed rest!) Since then it’s been sort of two steps forward, one step back, so we do think it’s improving. In several months, the damage done to his little esophagus should be fully healed, and by then we hope he’ll have outgrown his reflux.

So, as of now, our little guy is much more rested, lively, much happier, and much healthier now!

-T

It ain’t a pot ‘o’ gold, I’ll tell ya’ that.

It’s sleep. Sweet, elusive, never-enough, sleep.

Elliot’s been having a hard time sleeping well lately. Or, rather, we’ve been having a hard time helping him into a good sleep pattern. So, we’re currently working on helping him get to sleep all by himself. We’re confident! Tired as boot-beaten cart-horses, but confident.

So, of course, that means that mommy and daddy are running on fumes most of the time, doping it up on coffee, sleeping on the floor in the nursery, or whatever other acts of despair we have to resort to. Oddly enough, it’s sort of reminiscent of bachelordom, except add a little boy you love more than the universe, and throw in a bunch of actual meaning and purpose.

Hmm. You know what? Now that I think about it–seriously, just now, as I’m writing this–that’s not just worth it–which it totally is–that’s pretty darn cool, too. Waking up a hundred times a night, droning around the apartment in circles, walking and rocking our tired and crying son; it’s mind-numbing, yes, but I’m actually glad to do it; we’re privileged to be able to do this for Elliot.

Wow. I need a moment to soak that in.

…

So anyway, this has reminded me once again of how many, and how conflicting, the views are among the “experts” about how to care for babies. Not just mere difference of opinions, mind you. Oh no, no, no. Because rarely do you hear, “To the best of our knowledge, based on the limited research we’ve done, this is how you should do <insert advice here>.” No, of course not. Instead, it’s always, “You absolutely must do <insert advice here>. Anything else will destroy your baby. In fact, even thinking about doing anything other than <insert advice here> will cause your baby to spontaneously combust into a thousand flaming fragments of poisoned confetti.”

This, of course, leaves the first-time parents who are earnestly seeking to do above all else what’s best for their baby–the worrying, researching, and sleep-deprived mothers and fathers–only frustrated and emotionally spent, falling back on the reciting of resigned old phrases like, “Well, we’ll just do our best; that’s all we can do.”

So, what action will we take? In the midst of the cacauphony of conflicting and advice-giving experts, what will we do?

We’ll just do our best; that’s all we can do.

-T

Elliot is 6 months old today! Time flies!

-T

- Elliot’s been talking a lot lately. Lots of mah-mah-mah’s, muh-muh-muh’s, and even a couple buh-buh-buh’s. No dah-dah-dah’s yet…

- The little man is almost crawling, but not quite yet. He’s pretty much got all the mechanics down separately, and he’s got the strength, but putting them all together isn’t happening yet. Sometimes he’ll get really excited while on his tummy, kicking his legs in the air repeatedly, holding his arms up above the ground, and squealing with excitement–all while going nowhere. Sorta like a turtle on its back, but inverted.

- Elliot is, however, rolling all over the place. He can mostly stay sitting upright, too, though we aren’t leaving him there for very long just yet.

- Profound statement of the week: It’s hot in Texas.

- Elliot finds sneezing to be absolutely hilarious.

- Here’s something just to freak you out: Tania and I are considering making our living room televisionless. (Gasp!)

- I still haven’t learned to stop saying “the” when referring to numbered freeways. For example, “Take the 10 to the 1604…”

- Why don’t I have any Texas-wear yet?

- My new favorite place to visit at lunch: Half Price Books.

-T

As part of our transition into our home here in San Antonio, we planned and took the opportunity to move Elliot into his own room. (Applause!) And, much to his daddy’s displeasure, he’d already began to outgrow his Amby bed–about six months ahead of schedule–so out came the tools, up sprang his crib, and into his crib we moved him as well. Right smack in that 4-6 month window they tell you to aim for. It’s been pretty awesome; a process, of course, but one that’s gone fairly successfully.

Nerves? Oh yeah. Lots of nerves, at first anyway. It’s better now, though. Probably the best thing that’s happened so far is the breaking of our video baby monitor. (Thank you, Michelle and Jonathan! We used it until it croaked!) We loved it (despite it’s Rice Krispies-quality reception), but it was a great time to part with it.

We didn’t buy another for a couple reasons: 1) they’re expensive; 2) they’re insecure–all the models I’ve seen have no defense against anyone nearby tuning in on their frequencies. The same is true of audio-only baby monitors (although there seem to be more channels on audio-only), but, obviously, broadcasting both audio and video is more unsettling than just the audio. And if there is a video baby monitor with some kind of security, I’m sure it’d make problem one, the expense, much worse. I spent a few hours researching a video camera via computer network solution, and ran face-first into problem one. So, in the end, we picked up an under $50 audio-only baby monitor, and it’s been great. Clearer reception, better sound quality, less screen-watching, etc.

And now, pictures having nothing whatsoever to do with that story…

(As always, click ‘em to see the Gallery.)

Listening intently to the wisdom of his parents. Sure. (But he did do this all on his own!)

Our little acrobat.

“Please, mommy? Please can I stay up some more? I’ll be good!”

Tania and Elliot, my whole world.

Elliot hanging out and working with his Daddy.

-T

Whew, glad that’s over. The internet is the hood, I tell ya!

So, I’ve vanquished the baddies, upgraded the blog software, and (finally) been removed from Google’s list of bad sites.

Thanks to Andrew and the other folks at Dreamhost for verifying things and being responsive!

-T

We spent last weekend with our good friends, the Crawfords, who came out from Houston to relax near the Riverwalk in downtown San Antonio. It was great to be with them! See their blog post here, which includes several photos.

-T

Elliot is five months old today!

Sorry it’s been a while since we posted pictures. We’ve finally unpacked all our boxes, though we’re still trying to situate everything. These are several photos of Elliot during the last month.

(Click on the photos for a bigger version.)

The little man laughing during tummy time. (6/4/08)

I love his expression here. This is probably my current favorite photo of Elliot, but the previous picture is pretty tough competition. (6/4/08)

Unpacking Elliot after the move. Just kidding. Put down the phone. (6/8/08)

Teething is Elliot’s new occupation. His fingers are his favorite. (5/23/08)

He figured out how to grab his toes about a month ago. They’ve since offered him untold hours of entertainment. (5/23/08)

Ain’t no sissy-teething ’round these parts. The whole fist is where it’s at. (5/13/08)

Our little Spurs fan watching the game with us in San Antonio. It’s the one show we let him slide on right now. (5/11/08)

-T

Folks,

As new parents, Tania and I find it too easy–seemingly automatic, even–to lose perspective, getting caught up in the tiring job of parenting a newborn. But then, someone you know shares a story, by way of asking for prayer, that brings back your perspective in a jarring instant. And we are reminded that we are very blessed.

But allow me to share the story with you, in the hope that you will lift a family up in prayer.

Tania and I are priveledged to be able to help support the Hoover family, missionaries with Family Life–an organization that has been a blessing to our family–who work to help, heal, and build marriages and families through Weekend to Remember conferences all across the nation. Below is an email they shared with us, sent to them by Dennis Rainey, President and co-founder of Family Life, asking for prayer for his family. His granddaughter, little Molly, passed away this week, only a week after her birth. Read Mr. Rainey’s email below and support Molly’s parents with your prayers as they walk through a very trying time. 

-T

From: Dennis Rainey
To: Dist-AllStaff
Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2008 8:38 AM
Subject: Dawn in Colorado

As the sun is coming out  here in Colorado,  and The Son will soon be welcoming home Rebecca and Jakes daughter, Molly.  A gift, entrusted to them for 7 days, to be ushered home, undoubtedly by a band of the gentlest and mighty angels dispatched from the throne of God to carry her into the presence of The Savior.
 
What has been tough, is about to get much tougher.  Pray for Rebecca and Jake and forward this email to anyone you know who will pray for them.
 
Our days here have been so full of the presence of God.  Honoring Him for Molly Ann.
 
Friday morning she was born… she didn’t cry for nearly 4’ because she was suffering from congestive heart failure.  Her mom held her only for seconds before she was whisked away to be placed on life support.  We think her problem is a heart murmur.  Oh how I wish that was all she had.  She is rushed by ambulance to The Children’s Hospital here in Aurora.  We arrive that evening to hear Jake say she is going to need brain surgery.  I am thinking…I wish it was a heart murmur.
 
Saturday was a day of testing, in more ways than one.  She has x-rays, ultra-sound, and MRIs around 11.  The radiologist makes a copy for Jake and me from her text book about the Vein of Galen.  I go on line and find out that Molly is up against a serious abnormality in the middle of her brain that it is VERY rare and VERY destructive.  Around 4 we are seated in a private room with a neurologist, cardiologist, neonatologist, and nurse giving us the news that over 50% of Molly’s brain is permanently damaged and that the damage affects both halves of the brain.  10-15-20 dangerous surgeries, she MIGHT be able to have A FEW functions as a human being.  (Later I talk to a friend who has been a  neurologist for 30 years and he puts it in perspective—“In cases like Molly where there is so much brain damage, I have never seen a good outcome through surgery.”  Never is a strong word.  Yet we hope and pray for a miracle…even today)    It is as though this young couple have been hit by a truck,  news beyond comprehension.  Joy turns to mourning.
 
In other words, it would take a miracle for Molly to live.
 
Sunday Jake’s parents,  Bill and Pam Mutz,  arrive along with some of their family.  Laura flies in from DC, Samuel and Stephanie and their three children fly in from Seattle, Ashley flies in from Memphis where she was on vacation with her husband and 5 sons and Ben and Marsha Kay come to the hospital.  Rebecca and Jake want to introduce their  new daughter to each family member.    Many come and kneel at Rebecca’s feet and just sob.  When a family is being a family it is powerful.  Worshipful.  God honoring.
 
Jake and Rebecca spend a good bit of Sunday and Monday praying, talking, seeking second opinions trying to decide what is God’s will for Molly…what is the loving thing to do?
 
Monday we surround Molly and have a baby dedication, read Scripture, pray and sing a couple of songs.   More than a dozen of us weep our way through the familiar hymn:
 
Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
 
Again many of us kneel at Rebecca’s feet as she hold’s little Molly in her arms teethered to life support tubes.
 
Monday night Bill and Pam Mutz and Barbara and I witness the unimaginable…we sit in a hospital room as Jake hold’s Molly…listening for over 2 hours as Jake and Rebecca process their choices.  God is God, but it’s impossible to NOT  feel, this just shouldn’t be.  What a choice for a young couple to have to make.    They decide to not pursue the several very dangerous and complex brain surgeries and remove life support later in the week.
 
Tuesday, honestly, I don’t know what happened to Tuesday.  But I do know that if love could heal, Molly would be well.  Instead, we can all see  Molly’s little chest pounding, her heart beating faster and faster, trying to keep up with what she needs to live.  60-80% of her blood is going to her brain when it should be 10-15%.
 
I do know that Wednesday was an incredible day.  Videoing, picture taking, making a mold of Molly’s hands,  Rebecca and Jake holding Molly still teethered by life support tubes.  Rebecca and the mom’s giving Molly her first, and only bath, washing her  hair.  Stroking her little naked body.  This is not what this young mother expected.  Doing footprints and hand prints.  Ask me to show you my bible and I’ll show you her footprints all over Psalm 127 and 128…and her handprint on my life verse, Psalm 112:1-2…Her life may have been short in terms of days, but her life has been mighty.  Mighty Molly Mutz.
 
Wednesday closed out with this email at midnight from Jake, on the close of the last full day that Molly will likely live:

I just got done holding Molly chest-to-chest for the last 3.5 hours!  Heavenly!  I could feel her beating heart on my bare chest!  2569 kisses later I relinquished her to Mom.

She is an Angel!!!!

Now Rebecca is experiencing this delight!  I just looked over at Bec & she nodded, as if to say - I WILL be sleeping here with my Sweet Pea for the next 12 hours!

We love you guys!
Jake & Rebecca

And now today.  Molly’s coronation day.  Read Ecclesiastes 7:1-4.   This morning we will all say goodby one by one and then leave Rebecca and Jake to spend the afternoon with her.  She is expected to live only a few minutes after being taken off all life support machines later on this afternoon.
 
Pray for Jake and Rebecca today.
And for the Mutz family and ours.
Our hearts are breaking.
 
You are loved and appreciated,
Molly’s Papa
Ps 112:1-2

Quick update on this…

• I’ve found and destroyed what looks like a hack here on our blog.
• I’ve upgraded our blog’s Wordpress software, which is supposed to solve a vulnerability probably responsible for the problem we’ve had.
• I’ve requested that Google re-review our blog and, if it looks clear, remove the danger warnings.

Look for more updates!

-T