The Peanut Tracker

“…for he hath clothed me with the garments of geekvation, he hath covered me with the robe of geekiness…”

Well, at least that’s how it’s written in the original Geek… (Sorry, little bit of exegetical humor there…)

Anyway, here’s just a few of the baby geek shirts from ThinkGeek.com.

Part of the description for this shirt says, “little person produced by the mating of two adult geeky lifeforms.” Tania may or may not take issue with this…

If you’re not sure what TCP/IP is, well, don’t worry about it. Isn’t it funny enough that “IP” is on the shirt?

If you reallywant to see geekiness, here’s part of the description on this shirt’s product page:

And please oh please don’t ever let your kids *not* read Tolkien, The Chronicles Of Narnia, or The Foundation Series – unless of course you intend to breed orcs. Oh, and teach them binary. Yeah.

Let’s not even get started with the “version control” jokes…

This one might be my favorite. It says “KID” in binary. They have ones for “MOM” and “DAD” too. Here’s how you explain it to the little one:

Here’s a little story… When a 010011010100111101001101 and 010001000100000101000100 love each other very much, sometimes they show how much they love each other by having 010100110100010101011000. (That one’s a long story and if you need more info on that, you shouldn’t be on this web site!) After about 1001 months, a 010010110100100101000100 comes out of the tummy of 010011010100111101001101. Then the 010011010100111101001101 and 010001000100000101000100 and their brand new 010010110100100101000100 live happily ever after… most of the time.

And finally, here’s one for Mommy. Y’know, like the old “Intel Inside” logos? This quote from the product page cracks me up (of course, if you’re not in IT, you may not get it…):

“Is your body the staging area for a future geek?”

-T

I just read this article in the New York Times. Cheggitout. It’s about two parents who are trying hard to get their kids to read regularly, and their frustration with the educational system that doesn’t seem to be encouraging reading, unless it’s purely test prep material. I don’t know much (yet) about the current trends in the school system, but I loved that these parents were on a mission to get their kids to love reading.

Tania and I love reading. It’s good for ya. Puts hair on your chest. Um, well, unless you’re a girl, in which case let’s hope that’s just an old folk tale… Anyway, the point is that we think reading consistently strengthens your mind and builds you as a person. But, since this is (hopefully) obvious, that’s enough talk of that.

Well, with that in mind, we’re going to encourage Elliot to build a love for reading. And we’ve already started by getting him a bunch of little Dr. Seuss books and his very own little Dr. Seuss backpack!

(bigger photo in gallery)

Ooooooh yeah. Don’t be hatin’; you know you want one.

We got ‘em by signing up with one of those “book deals”: y’know, where they give you a bunch of books (or CDs, DVDs, or whatever the deal is) for next to nothing, in the hopes that you’ll keep buying from them. So, of course we’re going to cancel with them (they say you can, so it’s legit). But we couldn’t pass it up.

-T

(Warning: A semi-passionate rant about old school toys follows… Don’t say I didn’t warn ya! And so you know ahead of time, no, we aren’t moving to some Amish community somewhere in Pennsylvania! And yes, Elliot will likely be proficient in computer skills fairly early on.)

I was in Costco the other day by myself and, feeling unusually brave, decided to cruise the kids’ section. At first it was odd, being a first-time father, but then I saw another guy in his late 20’s to early 30’s standing there, staring blankly at the toys, looking like a traveler in a foreign land. “Aaah, I am not alone”, I thought. Anyway, the first thing that caught my eye was this huge tin of Tinker Toys! (Here they are at Amazon, since Costco’s website doesn’t show them.) I couldn’t believe they still make these things! In the age of plastic cell-phone toys oozing cheezy electronic tunes while spraying colored lights, and the latest cartoon characters slapped on almost everything, I was pleasantly shocked to see the little wooden rod-and-wheel toys from when I was a little squirt.

Remember those? They sure didn’t look fancy, but, given some time and creativity (remember what those two things are?), some pretty great stuff resulted. Cars ready to burn rubber on race tracks, castles for knights to defend, skyscrapers for King Kong to climb, or even abstract structures that just plain look cool. From such simple, unadorned little elements, little kids’ minds can build, create, and learn a ton of different lessons. Creativity, ingenuity, building, rebuilding, success, failure, limitations, focus–all of these can be had–better had, I think–with a pile of wooden spokes, joints, and wheels. Of course, there are a few new bells and whistles in this new Tinker Toys tin, but the core of the set is still the same.

And nope, I’m not a techno-hater. Heck, I work in technology. I just think it’s become too easy to slap the latest shiny toy in a kid’s hands and think the job’s done. What ever happened to learning to crawl before walking? Learning to puzzle something out before being given the solution? Doing something with your hands before letting some machine do it for you? I see little baby cell-phone and computer toys all over the shelf at Target, but it’s difficult to find blocks. Blocks, man! Shouldn’t a kid learn some basic human skills before learning to dial a cell phone? Like what shapes are? Counting? That four square blocks packed together make a bigger square? Or that too many stacked blocks will fall if they aren’t balanced? Or just the joy of creating something by yourself? I could go on for an hour listing underlying skills that blocks, rods, and wheels can teach a kid: skills adults never think about anymore, that sit at the foundation of everything we do every day, underneath our conscious thought. It’s not the ditching of the “new” for the “old”, but rather the learning of the “basic” before the “advanced”, or doing “step 1″ before “step 10.”

I just don’t want to get so busy that we just slap some flashy-light, button-having thing in Junior’s hands and call it a day. ‘Cause when he gets bored of that one, we’ll just have to buy him another. And another. And another. And then presto!, we’ll have created another consumer, and before he even knows it!

-T

P.s. Now I just have to find some Lincoln Logs…

Saw this (surprisingly realistic) chainsaw in the baby/toddler toy section while doing the registry shopping…

Uhh…what the?

It was right next to the baby toys, though it may have been intended for toddlers or tykes. Even so, kinda creepy, don’t ya think? Maybe in the backwoods of the Northwest this toy would make sense…

I can see it now: “Awww… Hey Fran, isn’t it cute how they all scatter across the playground when little Billy waves the running chainsaw?” (Yes, it’s battery operated.)

Maybe I saw just too many scary movies when I was young…

-T

P.s. I wonder if they have any package deals with this and a hockey mask?

P.p.s. I don’t want to be a corporate conspiracy theorist, but did you notice the huge “BOSCH” logo? Brand ‘em while they’re young?

I ran across something called “The Rosetta Project” while browsing though the GeekDad blog.

There’s a bunch of downloadable–and yes, free–books, many of which are classics. There’s even some audiobooks, I believe. Here’s the library page.

It’s pretty cool, I think. It seems to me, though, there are times when having an actual, physical book is the best thing. Still, it may be a good idea for saving money, space, or even time, if you want a bedtime story really quickly you haven’t already read, or if you’re not at home (another reason to justify that new laptop!).

-T

Check out this article in Time magazine about Baby Einstein videos (all baby videos, actually) and what it can (or can’t) do for your baby.

I’ll just paste in a few quotes below. This first sentence may sum it up…

The claim always seemed too good to be true: park your infant in front of a video and, in no time, he or she will be talking and getting smarter than the neighbor’s kid.

“The more videos they watched, the fewer words they knew,” says Christakis. “These babies scored about 10% lower on language skills than infants who had not watched these videos.” 

Actually, the overstimulation thing I’ve been pondering long before reading this article.

“There is an assumption that stimulation is good, so more is better,” he says. “But that’s not true; there is such a thing as overstimulation.”

Well, something to think about, anyway. 

-T

Am I the only sane person who looks at those BabyBjorn Baby Carriers and thinks, “Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!”?

The BabyBjorn is a sound idea, of course. Convenient? Sure. Cool to wear? Uh, well, let’s not spin outta control here…

But pray tell me this, oh thou defenders of BabyBjorn–tell me what you do in the following scenarios:

You’re walking through the mall parking lot, strolling, whistling a tune, baby strapped to your chest in the BabyBjorn. Then, a friend, coincidentally driving through the parking lot, notices you and calls out, “Hey man, how are ya?” You glance over, thinking, “Oh, hey, it’s Emilio”, and then, in that split-second of perilous distraction, you trip over a parking lot curb. Your balance disappears and you’re plummeting face-first–and chest-first–toward the pavement. Time seems to stop. In that split-second that seems like forever you think to yourself, “Aw dang. My baby is stuck to my chest. This is very bad…”

Or how ’bout this one…

It’s a beautiful day outside. The warm sunbeams shine through your apartment window, piercing through the closed venetian blinds. You think to yourself, “Hey, what a great day to get outside, take a walk and sing Zippedy-Doo-Dah!” So, with your baby shackled to your chest in the BabyBjorn, you exit the front door of your apartment with high spirits and a spring in your step. Cruising down the sidewalk, you turn the uphill corner around the next apartment building. And then you see the stainless steel Kenmore refrigerator–careening straight toward you. The new guy moving into the apartment across the way from you lost his grip, sending 700 pounds of kitchen appliance barreling right at your face–and your chest. Once again, time seems to freeze. You’ve got no time to dodge. You can’t duck a fridge. You’re only course of action is quickly pitching your baby over the rail to your side where you hope the thick ivy will break the baby’s fall, then taking Kenmore’s hit like a man. It’s desperate–really desperate–but it’s the only option. Quick as lightning you grab your baby and…oh yeah. Dang. You’re baby is strapped to your chest.

See what I’m sayin’?

(No, I’m not crazy. At least not certifiable, anyway.)

-T

P.s. That headless crash-test dummy the BabyBjorn is strapped to in the official picture isn’t helping my nerves…

If you can afford one of these strollers–I mean if you reeeeeally have nothing better to spend your cash on–then you need to contribute to the Flattery family’s “More Sensible Stroller Fund.” Y’know, for something a little under $2000. Sheesh.

You’d think a nanny would be included for the price of that thing…

-T