The Peanut Tracker

Some popcorn thoughts ‘n’ happenings:

• Elliot is saying “Da-da” now. Well, pretty much; he’s still working on his pronunciation. But he totally knows who Da-da is. Heck yes. Tania will have me on speaker phone and Elliot will laugh and usually say “Da-da” somewhere during the beginning of the call. It’s awesome! (He’d already been saying “Ma-ma” for quite a while now. He loves his Mama!)
• His second tooth on the bottom is threatening to poke through any day now. It’s been hard to get a decent picture of the one exposed tooth, though; it’s not really big enough yet to see easily. Soon enough.
• Elliot had his first nasty cold. (Well, minus the one when he was only a month or so.) And he did not much enjoy it. No sir. Poor kid wasn’t sure what was wrong with his nose. All that snot sloshing around in his sinuses and blocking his breathing, disrupting his (already oft disrupted) sleep–yeah, not so high a fun factor there. Nor did Elliot love the cold “maintenance”. Many snot-extraction missions were completed, using the dreaded B.A.D. (Booger Annihlation Device).
• For the first time, Elliot waved bye-bye to me this morning when I left for work. We do the same waving bye-bye routine every morning, but today he laughed and swung his little arm up and down when I said “Bye bye, son” and waved. That was awesome, too.
• It’s interesting; we’re starting to see little pieces of Elliot’s personality coming out now. For instance, Elliot isn’t usually much interested in the whole mimicking thing. It’s not that he doesn’t get it, either. He just doesn’t care to mimick; he’d rather be doing his own thing. He’d rather learn on his own. He prefers to uncover new abilities by himself. Often, when we try to get him to mimick something, he’ll put on this dry expression, as if to say, “Uh, what am I? Your little monkey?” Then he’ll laugh and try to climb up my shirt. I love it.
• Balance is starting to happen; standing unassisted is getting closer (though still a ways off). Although, for now, he climbs up anything and everything, getting himself easily into a standing position. He’s even walking along things a bit, like the sofa, chairs, etc.
• Leaving for work every morning stinks. Saying goodbye to my little boy and my wonderful wife, after only seeing them for a few minutes during the morning scramble–well, it just stinks. Sigh. Such is life; such is the double-edged sword of blessedness.

-T

No, I’m not a new mom. I’m not even an old mom. Heck, I’m not even a potential mom.

So, now that we’ve got that squared away…

Caitlin’s latest discoveries were just too good not to share:

1. I become completely incompetent at changing diapers in the middle of the night. (The other night I put the diaper on inside out, but it was after I fixed it that Cash and I were covered in pee. Figure that one out?!)

2. When you’re carrying around a baby in one arm, your foot automatically becomes another hand. (Quite handy when loading the washing machine, I might add.)

3. Why is it when I start to sing my son a song, it turns out to be either 80’s rock or the Star-Spangled Banner?

4. I am terrified of the bulb syringe. You could suck his brain out with that thing!

5. While a poopy diaper makes me proud, I was totally grossed out by the umbilical cord and eye boogers.

6. If I don’t burp Cash after he’s fallen asleep nursing, and instead hope to put him in his bassinet still sleeping so I can get some shut eye, those darn hiccups will wake him up every time!

7. It’s totally unfair that Mick has to go to work all day while I get to spend my day with the most handsome little boy ever. We miss you, Daddy!

-T

Wow! I can’t believe it’s been close to 8 months since Elliot entered this world! My, how time flies!

Well, this is the very first time I have had the time and energy together to be able to write a post since Elliot arrived on the scene.

So life has been great–lots of ups and downs, but overall great. I love San Antonio, TX. The people here are great and there is just an overall great feeling here. YES, it is hot here, but it’s not too bad.  Soon the weather will cool off and I am soooo looking forward to it.

Our good friends had their first baby 10 days ago, and we’ve been really exciting for them. Now, being parents, we are really able to appreciate babies, parenthood, and all that comes with it. As we awaited news about their new baby, Tobias and I started talking about how much our love has grown for our little Stinky Toes. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve loved Elliot from the minute he was conceived, but our emotions of love have grown and will continue to grow with each passing day. For me, the “feelings” of love were not instantaneous the moment Elliot was born (they were there, of course, but not like they are now). I had no frame of reference from which to imagine having and loving my own child. (From all accounts it seems to be the same when one adopts.) It’s amazing how with each passing day my “feelings” of love grow. It’s been really neat to get to experience this type of love–a selfless and deliberate type of love. I am a better person because of getting to love Elliot. Thanks to our little Stinky Toes, I now know what it is like to love a child, and I know that with our next one the feelings of love will be there even before he or she makes a first appearance.

Elliot is a really great kid and we are so enjoying seeing him grow and develop into his personality.  We are so sad that we are not able to share that–in person, anyway–with all of our friends and family.

Tania

Some updates a la quick:

• Elliot is crawling. Yep, full-on mobility. He turned pro overnight. No more scooching or fish-out-of-watering. Needless to say, Tania and I are out of breath half the time…
• Elliot has passed the 20 pound mark.
• Some sleep is actually taking place is our household. However, it’s too late; we’re already scarred: sleeplessness is torture, and sleep is merely a prelude to torture.
• Evidently a thoughtful citizen of San Antonio considered it awesome to remove the catalytic converter from our CR-V during the wee hours of the night last week. What a nice surprise that was. As was the cost of parts and labor that forced me to fall back on insurance. Hooray for pathetic metal thieves.
• I’m trying to learn life-ninjitsu. Two classes, a full-time job, and a family create one heck of a juggling act. So maybe I’m actually just a clown. Hmm. Anyway, of course it’s a two-person/parent job, so Tania is a ninja too. (Undoubtedly even more so.)
• Arrrrr! There be teeth in them thar gums! In non-pirate speak, that means two lower teeth are pushing up in Elliot’s chomper. Should break through in a couple weeks or so.

-T

So here’s the latest on our family sleep situation: we’re all getting a bit now, thank God.

Turns out, as we had been beginning to suspect, Elliot’s arch-nemesis from his early weeks, though we’d thought vanquished by the muscles of maturity, has “lived to fight another day”–yes, the evil Infant Reflux.

However, thankfully, Elliot’s new pediatrician, who we’d selected pretty much at random from the pediatricians in our vicinity, just so happens to be concerned about and studied up on reflux in babies (which isn’t as common among doctors as you might think). She even knows the pediatrician who wrote the book about reflux we’d bought months ago, Colic Solved. What are the chances of that? Of getting a pediatrician, in our (very close) vicinity, who is both concerned about and studied up on infant reflux? And who even knows the author of the book about infant reflux we’d purchased? Weird. And cool.

Anyhow, she was concerned about Elliot from our very first appointment with her, having heard a few of the more subtle symptoms of reflux. After a week of monitoring the symptoms, and those symtpoms continuing–including his sleeping worsening–she had us start him on some medicine to help fight his reflux. And a day or two later, whaddya know, Elliot was sleeping straight through the night. (Not to mention his parents getting some much-needed rest!) Since then it’s been sort of two steps forward, one step back, so we do think it’s improving. In several months, the damage done to his little esophagus should be fully healed, and by then we hope he’ll have outgrown his reflux.

So, as of now, our little guy is much more rested, lively, much happier, and much healthier now!

-T

It ain’t a pot ‘o’ gold, I’ll tell ya’ that.

It’s sleep. Sweet, elusive, never-enough, sleep.

Elliot’s been having a hard time sleeping well lately. Or, rather, we’ve been having a hard time helping him into a good sleep pattern. So, we’re currently working on helping him get to sleep all by himself. We’re confident! Tired as boot-beaten cart-horses, but confident.

So, of course, that means that mommy and daddy are running on fumes most of the time, doping it up on coffee, sleeping on the floor in the nursery, or whatever other acts of despair we have to resort to. Oddly enough, it’s sort of reminiscent of bachelordom, except add a little boy you love more than the universe, and throw in a bunch of actual meaning and purpose.

Hmm. You know what? Now that I think about it–seriously, just now, as I’m writing this–that’s not just worth it–which it totally is–that’s pretty darn cool, too. Waking up a hundred times a night, droning around the apartment in circles, walking and rocking our tired and crying son; it’s mind-numbing, yes, but I’m actually glad to do it; we’re privileged to be able to do this for Elliot.

Wow. I need a moment to soak that in.

…

So anyway, this has reminded me once again of how many, and how conflicting, the views are among the “experts” about how to care for babies. Not just mere difference of opinions, mind you. Oh no, no, no. Because rarely do you hear, “To the best of our knowledge, based on the limited research we’ve done, this is how you should do <insert advice here>.” No, of course not. Instead, it’s always, “You absolutely must do <insert advice here>. Anything else will destroy your baby. In fact, even thinking about doing anything other than <insert advice here> will cause your baby to spontaneously combust into a thousand flaming fragments of poisoned confetti.”

This, of course, leaves the first-time parents who are earnestly seeking to do above all else what’s best for their baby–the worrying, researching, and sleep-deprived mothers and fathers–only frustrated and emotionally spent, falling back on the reciting of resigned old phrases like, “Well, we’ll just do our best; that’s all we can do.”

So, what action will we take? In the midst of the cacauphony of conflicting and advice-giving experts, what will we do?

We’ll just do our best; that’s all we can do.

-T

- Elliot’s been talking a lot lately. Lots of mah-mah-mah’s, muh-muh-muh’s, and even a couple buh-buh-buh’s. No dah-dah-dah’s yet…

- The little man is almost crawling, but not quite yet. He’s pretty much got all the mechanics down separately, and he’s got the strength, but putting them all together isn’t happening yet. Sometimes he’ll get really excited while on his tummy, kicking his legs in the air repeatedly, holding his arms up above the ground, and squealing with excitement–all while going nowhere. Sorta like a turtle on its back, but inverted.

- Elliot is, however, rolling all over the place. He can mostly stay sitting upright, too, though we aren’t leaving him there for very long just yet.

- Profound statement of the week: It’s hot in Texas.

- Elliot finds sneezing to be absolutely hilarious.

- Here’s something just to freak you out: Tania and I are considering making our living room televisionless. (Gasp!)

- I still haven’t learned to stop saying “the” when referring to numbered freeways. For example, “Take the 10 to the 1604…”

- Why don’t I have any Texas-wear yet?

- My new favorite place to visit at lunch: Half Price Books.

-T

As part of our transition into our home here in San Antonio, we planned and took the opportunity to move Elliot into his own room. (Applause!) And, much to his daddy’s displeasure, he’d already began to outgrow his Amby bed–about six months ahead of schedule–so out came the tools, up sprang his crib, and into his crib we moved him as well. Right smack in that 4-6 month window they tell you to aim for. It’s been pretty awesome; a process, of course, but one that’s gone fairly successfully.

Nerves? Oh yeah. Lots of nerves, at first anyway. It’s better now, though. Probably the best thing that’s happened so far is the breaking of our video baby monitor. (Thank you, Michelle and Jonathan! We used it until it croaked!) We loved it (despite it’s Rice Krispies-quality reception), but it was a great time to part with it.

We didn’t buy another for a couple reasons: 1) they’re expensive; 2) they’re insecure–all the models I’ve seen have no defense against anyone nearby tuning in on their frequencies. The same is true of audio-only baby monitors (although there seem to be more channels on audio-only), but, obviously, broadcasting both audio and video is more unsettling than just the audio. And if there is a video baby monitor with some kind of security, I’m sure it’d make problem one, the expense, much worse. I spent a few hours researching a video camera via computer network solution, and ran face-first into problem one. So, in the end, we picked up an under $50 audio-only baby monitor, and it’s been great. Clearer reception, better sound quality, less screen-watching, etc.

And now, pictures having nothing whatsoever to do with that story…

(As always, click ‘em to see the Gallery.)

Listening intently to the wisdom of his parents. Sure. (But he did do this all on his own!)

Our little acrobat.

“Please, mommy? Please can I stay up some more? I’ll be good!”

Tania and Elliot, my whole world.

Elliot hanging out and working with his Daddy.

-T

Folks,

As new parents, Tania and I find it too easy–seemingly automatic, even–to lose perspective, getting caught up in the tiring job of parenting a newborn. But then, someone you know shares a story, by way of asking for prayer, that brings back your perspective in a jarring instant. And we are reminded that we are very blessed.

But allow me to share the story with you, in the hope that you will lift a family up in prayer.

Tania and I are priveledged to be able to help support the Hoover family, missionaries with Family Life–an organization that has been a blessing to our family–who work to help, heal, and build marriages and families through Weekend to Remember conferences all across the nation. Below is an email they shared with us, sent to them by Dennis Rainey, President and co-founder of Family Life, asking for prayer for his family. His granddaughter, little Molly, passed away this week, only a week after her birth. Read Mr. Rainey’s email below and support Molly’s parents with your prayers as they walk through a very trying time. 

-T

From: Dennis Rainey
To: Dist-AllStaff
Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2008 8:38 AM
Subject: Dawn in Colorado

As the sun is coming out  here in Colorado,  and The Son will soon be welcoming home Rebecca and Jakes daughter, Molly.  A gift, entrusted to them for 7 days, to be ushered home, undoubtedly by a band of the gentlest and mighty angels dispatched from the throne of God to carry her into the presence of The Savior.
 
What has been tough, is about to get much tougher.  Pray for Rebecca and Jake and forward this email to anyone you know who will pray for them.
 
Our days here have been so full of the presence of God.  Honoring Him for Molly Ann.
 
Friday morning she was born… she didn’t cry for nearly 4’ because she was suffering from congestive heart failure.  Her mom held her only for seconds before she was whisked away to be placed on life support.  We think her problem is a heart murmur.  Oh how I wish that was all she had.  She is rushed by ambulance to The Children’s Hospital here in Aurora.  We arrive that evening to hear Jake say she is going to need brain surgery.  I am thinking…I wish it was a heart murmur.
 
Saturday was a day of testing, in more ways than one.  She has x-rays, ultra-sound, and MRIs around 11.  The radiologist makes a copy for Jake and me from her text book about the Vein of Galen.  I go on line and find out that Molly is up against a serious abnormality in the middle of her brain that it is VERY rare and VERY destructive.  Around 4 we are seated in a private room with a neurologist, cardiologist, neonatologist, and nurse giving us the news that over 50% of Molly’s brain is permanently damaged and that the damage affects both halves of the brain.  10-15-20 dangerous surgeries, she MIGHT be able to have A FEW functions as a human being.  (Later I talk to a friend who has been a  neurologist for 30 years and he puts it in perspective—“In cases like Molly where there is so much brain damage, I have never seen a good outcome through surgery.”  Never is a strong word.  Yet we hope and pray for a miracle…even today)    It is as though this young couple have been hit by a truck,  news beyond comprehension.  Joy turns to mourning.
 
In other words, it would take a miracle for Molly to live.
 
Sunday Jake’s parents,  Bill and Pam Mutz,  arrive along with some of their family.  Laura flies in from DC, Samuel and Stephanie and their three children fly in from Seattle, Ashley flies in from Memphis where she was on vacation with her husband and 5 sons and Ben and Marsha Kay come to the hospital.  Rebecca and Jake want to introduce their  new daughter to each family member.    Many come and kneel at Rebecca’s feet and just sob.  When a family is being a family it is powerful.  Worshipful.  God honoring.
 
Jake and Rebecca spend a good bit of Sunday and Monday praying, talking, seeking second opinions trying to decide what is God’s will for Molly…what is the loving thing to do?
 
Monday we surround Molly and have a baby dedication, read Scripture, pray and sing a couple of songs.   More than a dozen of us weep our way through the familiar hymn:
 
Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
 
Again many of us kneel at Rebecca’s feet as she hold’s little Molly in her arms teethered to life support tubes.
 
Monday night Bill and Pam Mutz and Barbara and I witness the unimaginable…we sit in a hospital room as Jake hold’s Molly…listening for over 2 hours as Jake and Rebecca process their choices.  God is God, but it’s impossible to NOT  feel, this just shouldn’t be.  What a choice for a young couple to have to make.    They decide to not pursue the several very dangerous and complex brain surgeries and remove life support later in the week.
 
Tuesday, honestly, I don’t know what happened to Tuesday.  But I do know that if love could heal, Molly would be well.  Instead, we can all see  Molly’s little chest pounding, her heart beating faster and faster, trying to keep up with what she needs to live.  60-80% of her blood is going to her brain when it should be 10-15%.
 
I do know that Wednesday was an incredible day.  Videoing, picture taking, making a mold of Molly’s hands,  Rebecca and Jake holding Molly still teethered by life support tubes.  Rebecca and the mom’s giving Molly her first, and only bath, washing her  hair.  Stroking her little naked body.  This is not what this young mother expected.  Doing footprints and hand prints.  Ask me to show you my bible and I’ll show you her footprints all over Psalm 127 and 128…and her handprint on my life verse, Psalm 112:1-2…Her life may have been short in terms of days, but her life has been mighty.  Mighty Molly Mutz.
 
Wednesday closed out with this email at midnight from Jake, on the close of the last full day that Molly will likely live:

I just got done holding Molly chest-to-chest for the last 3.5 hours!  Heavenly!  I could feel her beating heart on my bare chest!  2569 kisses later I relinquished her to Mom.

She is an Angel!!!!

Now Rebecca is experiencing this delight!  I just looked over at Bec & she nodded, as if to say - I WILL be sleeping here with my Sweet Pea for the next 12 hours!

We love you guys!
Jake & Rebecca

And now today.  Molly’s coronation day.  Read Ecclesiastes 7:1-4.   This morning we will all say goodby one by one and then leave Rebecca and Jake to spend the afternoon with her.  She is expected to live only a few minutes after being taken off all life support machines later on this afternoon.
 
Pray for Jake and Rebecca today.
And for the Mutz family and ours.
Our hearts are breaking.
 
You are loved and appreciated,
Molly’s Papa
Ps 112:1-2

All of the following streets or places are within a few minutes of where we now live in San Antonio, TX. Weird. In aggregate, almost eerie.

Rolling Oaks Mall…
…we used to live on Rolling Oaks Dr in Thousand Oaks, CA.

Thousand Oaks Dr…
…we used to live in Thousand Oaks, CA.

Ventura Dr…
…we used to live in Ventura County, and a modest drive from Ventura, CA.

Ronald Reagan Public Library…
…we used to live near the famous Ronald Reagan Library in Simi Valley, CA.

Six Flags Fiesta Texas…
…we used to live only a modest drive from Six Flags Magic Mountain in California. Now we live about 5 minutes away. Ha-ha!

Palmdale St…
…we used to live in Palmdale, CA.

Palmdale Dr…
…see above.

Lancaster St (this one is a little further, in South San Antonio)…
…we used to live in Lancaster, CA. Incidentally, there’s also a Lancaster, TX, which is a suburb of Dallas (but far away from us).

-T

P.s. No, I haven’t forgotten about more Elliot pictures. Got some good ones, too!