The Peanut Tracker

Folks,

As new parents, Tania and I find it too easy–seemingly automatic, even–to lose perspective, getting caught up in the tiring job of parenting a newborn. But then, someone you know shares a story, by way of asking for prayer, that brings back your perspective in a jarring instant. And we are reminded that we are very blessed.

But allow me to share the story with you, in the hope that you will lift a family up in prayer.

Tania and I are priveledged to be able to help support the Hoover family, missionaries with Family Life–an organization that has been a blessing to our family–who work to help, heal, and build marriages and families through Weekend to Remember conferences all across the nation. Below is an email they shared with us, sent to them by Dennis Rainey, President and co-founder of Family Life, asking for prayer for his family. His granddaughter, little Molly, passed away this week, only a week after her birth. Read Mr. Rainey’s email below and support Molly’s parents with your prayers as they walk through a very trying time. 

-T

From: Dennis Rainey
To: Dist-AllStaff
Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2008 8:38 AM
Subject: Dawn in Colorado

As the sun is coming out  here in Colorado,  and The Son will soon be welcoming home Rebecca and Jakes daughter, Molly.  A gift, entrusted to them for 7 days, to be ushered home, undoubtedly by a band of the gentlest and mighty angels dispatched from the throne of God to carry her into the presence of The Savior.
 
What has been tough, is about to get much tougher.  Pray for Rebecca and Jake and forward this email to anyone you know who will pray for them.
 
Our days here have been so full of the presence of God.  Honoring Him for Molly Ann.
 
Friday morning she was born… she didn’t cry for nearly 4’ because she was suffering from congestive heart failure.  Her mom held her only for seconds before she was whisked away to be placed on life support.  We think her problem is a heart murmur.  Oh how I wish that was all she had.  She is rushed by ambulance to The Children’s Hospital here in Aurora.  We arrive that evening to hear Jake say she is going to need brain surgery.  I am thinking…I wish it was a heart murmur.
 
Saturday was a day of testing, in more ways than one.  She has x-rays, ultra-sound, and MRIs around 11.  The radiologist makes a copy for Jake and me from her text book about the Vein of Galen.  I go on line and find out that Molly is up against a serious abnormality in the middle of her brain that it is VERY rare and VERY destructive.  Around 4 we are seated in a private room with a neurologist, cardiologist, neonatologist, and nurse giving us the news that over 50% of Molly’s brain is permanently damaged and that the damage affects both halves of the brain.  10-15-20 dangerous surgeries, she MIGHT be able to have A FEW functions as a human being.  (Later I talk to a friend who has been a  neurologist for 30 years and he puts it in perspective—“In cases like Molly where there is so much brain damage, I have never seen a good outcome through surgery.”  Never is a strong word.  Yet we hope and pray for a miracle…even today)    It is as though this young couple have been hit by a truck,  news beyond comprehension.  Joy turns to mourning.
 
In other words, it would take a miracle for Molly to live.
 
Sunday Jake’s parents,  Bill and Pam Mutz,  arrive along with some of their family.  Laura flies in from DC, Samuel and Stephanie and their three children fly in from Seattle, Ashley flies in from Memphis where she was on vacation with her husband and 5 sons and Ben and Marsha Kay come to the hospital.  Rebecca and Jake want to introduce their  new daughter to each family member.    Many come and kneel at Rebecca’s feet and just sob.  When a family is being a family it is powerful.  Worshipful.  God honoring.
 
Jake and Rebecca spend a good bit of Sunday and Monday praying, talking, seeking second opinions trying to decide what is God’s will for Molly…what is the loving thing to do?
 
Monday we surround Molly and have a baby dedication, read Scripture, pray and sing a couple of songs.   More than a dozen of us weep our way through the familiar hymn:
 
Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
 
Again many of us kneel at Rebecca’s feet as she hold’s little Molly in her arms teethered to life support tubes.
 
Monday night Bill and Pam Mutz and Barbara and I witness the unimaginable…we sit in a hospital room as Jake hold’s Molly…listening for over 2 hours as Jake and Rebecca process their choices.  God is God, but it’s impossible to NOT  feel, this just shouldn’t be.  What a choice for a young couple to have to make.    They decide to not pursue the several very dangerous and complex brain surgeries and remove life support later in the week.
 
Tuesday, honestly, I don’t know what happened to Tuesday.  But I do know that if love could heal, Molly would be well.  Instead, we can all see  Molly’s little chest pounding, her heart beating faster and faster, trying to keep up with what she needs to live.  60-80% of her blood is going to her brain when it should be 10-15%.
 
I do know that Wednesday was an incredible day.  Videoing, picture taking, making a mold of Molly’s hands,  Rebecca and Jake holding Molly still teethered by life support tubes.  Rebecca and the mom’s giving Molly her first, and only bath, washing her  hair.  Stroking her little naked body.  This is not what this young mother expected.  Doing footprints and hand prints.  Ask me to show you my bible and I’ll show you her footprints all over Psalm 127 and 128…and her handprint on my life verse, Psalm 112:1-2…Her life may have been short in terms of days, but her life has been mighty.  Mighty Molly Mutz.
 
Wednesday closed out with this email at midnight from Jake, on the close of the last full day that Molly will likely live:

I just got done holding Molly chest-to-chest for the last 3.5 hours!  Heavenly!  I could feel her beating heart on my bare chest!  2569 kisses later I relinquished her to Mom.

She is an Angel!!!!

Now Rebecca is experiencing this delight!  I just looked over at Bec & she nodded, as if to say - I WILL be sleeping here with my Sweet Pea for the next 12 hours!

We love you guys!
Jake & Rebecca

And now today.  Molly’s coronation day.  Read Ecclesiastes 7:1-4.   This morning we will all say goodby one by one and then leave Rebecca and Jake to spend the afternoon with her.  She is expected to live only a few minutes after being taken off all life support machines later on this afternoon.
 
Pray for Jake and Rebecca today.
And for the Mutz family and ours.
Our hearts are breaking.
 
You are loved and appreciated,
Molly’s Papa
Ps 112:1-2

All of the following streets or places are within a few minutes of where we now live in San Antonio, TX. Weird. In aggregate, almost eerie.

Rolling Oaks Mall…
…we used to live on Rolling Oaks Dr in Thousand Oaks, CA.

Thousand Oaks Dr…
…we used to live in Thousand Oaks, CA.

Ventura Dr…
…we used to live in Ventura County, and a modest drive from Ventura, CA.

Ronald Reagan Public Library…
…we used to live near the famous Ronald Reagan Library in Simi Valley, CA.

Six Flags Fiesta Texas…
…we used to live only a modest drive from Six Flags Magic Mountain in California. Now we live about 5 minutes away. Ha-ha!

Palmdale St…
…we used to live in Palmdale, CA.

Palmdale Dr…
…see above.

Lancaster St (this one is a little further, in South San Antonio)…
…we used to live in Lancaster, CA. Incidentally, there’s also a Lancaster, TX, which is a suburb of Dallas (but far away from us).

-T

P.s. No, I haven’t forgotten about more Elliot pictures. Got some good ones, too!

…continuing the adventure, which began here.

The Rest of the Drive

We got smarter. Tania’s the genius, though. She came up with it. Oh, but wait. The problem first.

Elliot hated the long car ride during the first leg of our trip (Thousand Oaks, CA to Tucson, AZ). Lots of crying. Lots of pulling over. Lots of Tania sitting in the backseat and comforting. Basically, lots of the opposite of fun.

So Tania came up with a brilliant idea: instead of leaving the next morning at about 8:00 AM for the next leg of the trip, leave at about 4:00 AM–sacrifice sleep and breakfast for peace and progress. And it worked. Elliot slept the first half of the drive (about 4 hours), cutting our travel time by probably 90-120 minutes, cutting our stress levels drastically, and, more importantly, making the trip a lot less torturous for poor Elliot. I’m so glad Tania thought of this! Seeing little Elliot’s red, puffy, tear-stained face smile in desperate relief when we’d pull over to give him a break and get him out just about ripped out my heart every time.

I Swear I’ll Be Deaf One Day

My poor ears. That darn Interstate 10, while wonderfully straight and efficient with its 80 mph daytime speed limit (70 mph at night), must have been paved with the beach sand upon which the tormented souls of the victims of Viking warriors lay in eternal unrest. Or something like that. I mean, heck, the road is loud. And long. Which means loud for a long time. You know how I am with the whole hearing loss paranoia. I actually had to throttle back my speed and drive 10 mph under the time-saving 80 mph speed limit just to keep my ears from exploding into a big puff of smoke and confetti. (That would’ve spoiled my day.)

Purty Country

Contrary to what some might think, Texas actually isn’t a flat-as-far-as-the-eye-can-see wasteland sparsely populated with hairy-armed hicks chasing tumbleweeds in rusted offroad pickup trucks. The landscape is actually quite beautiful. Yes, it’s true that El Paso–from the freeway, anyway–isn’t exactly a sight for sore eyes (though it was interesting to see the shacks lining the hills in Mexico just over the border), and that Fort Stockton is a fairly boring (but nice enough) hotel-town, but after you get a bit further in, it’s a pretty state. Interstate 10 took us through a mostly hilly and forested Texas countryside; I only recall small portions of flatland. In fact, as we approached San Antonio–and as we drove throughout San Antonio–we found the landscape to be full of forest and rolling hills. It’s nice!

San Antonio itself seems to be a pretty good compromise between city and suburb. It’s fairly spread out, so we haven’t felt any of that urban crowding you might find in other big cities. There’s a downtown, which we’ve only visited once, but it seemed nice enough. And to our surprise, a lot of folks seem very health-conscious here–joggers, bicyclists, you name it. There are a lot of outdoorsy-type things to do in the area–hunting (it’s Texas!), tubing on rivers, fishing, etc.

So far we like San Antonio!

-T

P.s. Yes, yes, I’ll try to post more pictures soon. Please put down the pitchforks and torches.

Written on Wednesday, May 27, 2008 at 11:14 p.m.

Over ten hours later, we arrived in Tucson, AZ, the first leg of the One Way Road Trip completed.

It’s a weird feeling. Almost like we’re defecting from California. Not that we disliked California any more than anywhere else, really. Just an odd feeling. But before that feeling was the “Hoooooly, Moses!” feeling of leaving the only state I’ve ever lived in (Tania has lived in more). I must say, it was a strange mix of adventurous excitement and dull remorse. Like I’d traded in the trusty Variflex Valterra for a McGill…but not exactly.

Another bizarre experience was the unexpected contrast of feelings before and after crossing over the Arizona border. Before that crossing, we were leaving our home state, California; but after, we’d actually left. Past tense. Gone. Sort of–but again, not quite–like when Sam said, “If I take one more step, it’ll be the farthest away from home I’ve ever been.”

Then, to paint the emotional landscape even more bizarre, splash in the fact that we’ve not yet arrived to our new home in San Antonio. Our new apartment lease doesn’t even begin until Friday. And even though we technically still have a few days left on our Thousand Oaks apartment, the exit inspection has been completed, and our stuff is gone. It’s our previous home now–abandoned, cold, uninhabited. But the same is also true of our new apartment. So, actually, we’re temporarily homeless. We are without abode. And without belongings as well. It’s eerie, I tell ya.

Moments meriting minor mirth

• ????????In the parking lot at the Taco Bell in Blythe, CA, we’d found it necessary to take a little stroll with Elliot for about a hundred yards, in the 90 degree sunshine, to the entrance of the establishment of the esteemed maker of tacos. (We’d parked in the back of the lot to feed Elliot, but then didn’t feel the need to strap the poor kid into the car seat again to drive to the front of the lot, closer to the door.) So, Tania wrapped our not-so-little Peanut head to toe in his new off-white, 98% UV ray-resistant blanket (more like a sheet) and marched across the parking lot. It was awesome. We’re such parent-geeks. She looked like Mary carrying baby Jesus across the desert, except in technologically sophisticated swaddling. (And of course the whole Taco Bell thing…)
• In Tempe, AZ, we’d parked out in front of an already closed hardware store to feed Elliot again. And yes, it was upwards of 90 degrees. Since we forgot to bring our in-car bottle warmer (sorry, Ingrid!), I had to place the bottle on the top of the car in the summer heat to help warm it up. Lil’ tip there! (Actually, if you’re using bottle liners, warm hands work even better.)

-T

P.s. Because I love Lord of the Rings, here are a few more lines of that scene. (Besides, it’s relevant!)

Sam: This is it.
Frodo: This is what?
Sam: If I take one more step, it’ll be the farthest away from home I’ve ever been.
Frodo: Come on, Sam. Remember what Bilbo used to say: “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

We returned Monday from our San Antonio find-a-home trip. We did find a home, which is good news, since Tania wouldn’t like my “living in a wigwam” idea… Actually, a good friend of mine (you know who you are) once had an idea–a great or horrible idea, depending on how strong a cup of coffee you drank that morning–to move his family into a portable shed while their house was being built. Nice!

Flying the Fearful Skies

Tribulation: Anyhow, for weeks now I’ve been battling anxiety about flying with Elliot. He’s an explorer. He wants to be moving, seeing, experiencing. His favorite thing is when I hold him, in the Baby Bjorn or in my arms, just above the counter in the bathroom so he can work his walking skills while watching himself in the mirror. So, yeah, being held–or worse yet, being cradled–in a single tiny space, not even high enough to see much over the sardine-can seats is definitely not Elliot’s idea of a party.

I’d finally resolved myself to adopt the following attitudes in order to survive even the anticipation of the impending chaos, trusting that I’d find a way to survive the actual chaos when the time came:

1) See the sickly humorous side of it. Picture it: me, Mr. Don’t-Draw-Undue-Attention-To-Myself, bouncy-dance-walking up and down the aisle of an airliner at 35,000 feet with my screaming and kicking son, angry with the excessive sitting prior to my last resort decision to stand up and bouncy-dance-walk him, his ears aching with changing air pressure, and scores of people staring at me, some wearily annoyed, some veteran parents, tsk-tsk-tsk’ing at my inexperienced bouncy-dance-walk method and checking their watches to calculate the time to arrival. As scary as that sounds–and for me it’s petrifying–I can also see how doggone hilarious it is. So I’d focus on that.

2) Survival is the only goal; enjoyment or painlessness are trivial. I figured the odds of us surviving the flight were decent, while the odds of us having any hair left were minimal. Bald and alive is better than dead and suave.

Treat: But, as it would turn out, Elliot slept through most of both flights, and his crankiness was minimal. Tania is a superstar mommy and headed up the “make Elliot comfortable” effort. Also, before we boarded, the person manning the airline gate for our flight to San Antonio switched our seating arrangement, moving us to the front bulkhead and giving us all three seats to ourself. Oooooh, lemme tell ya, that helped tremendously.

Trick: Always send in the pretty mommy, with the baby, to ask for better seats; that’s right–play on those folks’ emotions!

Tribulation: I am extremely angry about one thing, however. I am compelled to gripe about it. While our flight to San Antonio was smooth and quiet, our flight back was the loudest (and I used to play in a metal band) and most hellish flying experience I’ve ever had. For the return flight with American Airlines, we were seated near the back of the Boeing S80, a plane with both engines mounted to the fuselage near the rear (instead of under the wings), right outside of where we were seated.

Now, I’m somewhat familiar with the sound levels and exposure time that bring about hearing loss, and I guarantee you that we suffered hearing loss on that flight. We stuffed rolled up blankets against Elliot’s ears for the entire flight, but it still must’ve been loud. I plugged my ears for much of the flight, as much as I could manage. Tania’s head pounded the entire flight. I would estimate that the sound was loud enough to cause some degree of hearing loss after several minutes; we were subjected to that noise for nearly three hours. And, of course, I stupidly forgot earplugs. But even still, it’s infuriating that these airlines would subject people to noise levels that certainly cause hearing damage.

I happened to sit next to a flight attendant’s seat, and we chatted about it during the descent. She shared her hate for those particular planes because of the hearing loss threat. She even tries to stay away from the back of the plane whenever forced to be on those planes. When asked what American Airlines is doing about it, she said they say they are “looking into it”, but that in reality it’s all about money and that they likely wouldn’t pull those planes off the runways for fear of lost money. Sigh. Unbelievable. My ears are still ringing over a day later, and I can only hope and pray that Elliot sustained no damage.

That’s all I can manage to type up right now… more to come.

-T

Don’t you hate it when…

…you’re trying to stealthily free mp3 ringtones for t mobile cellular download free phone ringtones download free tracfone ringtones free ringtones arabic download free ringtones free sms ringtones motorola q ringtones crazy download free frog ringtones motorola ringtones maker free ringtones converter much music ringtones sprint pcs ringtones download mosquito ringtones cingular free phone ringtones ringtones maker digi caller ringtones free mp3 nokia ringtones free ringtones maker download christian music ringtones free ringtones for cricket phone tip-toe away from the crib after laying down your lightly-sleeping baby, only to hear both of your ankles, worn by years of basketball and other various forms of rambunctiousness, snap and crackle loudly like July 4th firecrackers?

…you think to yourself, as you begin to change your baby’s number two-filled diaper, “Maybe it’ll be safe to just leave his socks on this time. He seems calm enough.”, but just then your baby kicks his feet in excitement, jabbing his toes directly into the dirty diaper you hadn’t yet wrapped up?

…you and your spouse are trying desperately to put your baby down to sleep at some ungodly hour of the night so you can have a moment to breathe, gently rocking him to sleep (because you think you’re done feeding him), when he erupts into screams of a hungry stomach and deeply wounded feelings. Then, after scurrying to the kitchen, grabbing what’s left of the refrigerated milk, finding a bottle, cleaning the bottle (because there were no clean bottles left), depositing the milk into the bottle, and waiting two eternities for the bottle of milk to warm up in the mug of hot water you hurriedly poured (and splashed half of onto the counter), you return to discover sweet little baby snoozing away peacefully, perched on your exhausted spouse’s shoulder.

Meh. It’s just half the fun of parenting.
-T

Whew. Trying to keep up here! In the absence of anything remotely intelligent to say, here’s a bunch of this ‘n’ that:

• Elliot turned 10 weeks old yesterday!
• Elliot has been having a few rough nights. Not feeling to good. Cranky. Seems like gas and plumbing problems. Hopefully these will be only a few nights, rather than many.
• Elliot’s new pals:
  • Scooby-Doo
  • Tyrone the T-Rex
  • Harry the Bear Disguised as a Hare
  • Giacomo the Giraffe
• Discovery: hands. Elliot is starting to grab things–usually Tyrone’s hands–and understand that he’s got these nifty little reach-out-and-get-stuff tools, conveniently built onto the ends of his arms.
• The Spurs rule.
• Elliot likes to listen to guitar playing and singing. It’s especially helpful during crabby moments like waiting for food, toweling off after a bath, etc. Might be worth a shot if you’ve got a guitar lying around…
• I’m wearing my Spurs shirt right now.
• Parenting may be tough, but it sho’ ain’t exercise. I need to get back to exercising. Now, if only I can find some time somewhere… Maybe under this rock… Nope, none there. How ’bout in the sofa cushions… Nope, none there either.

-T

P.s. Heck, our sofa cushions don’t even come out.

Elliot had his two-month shots–his first set of shots–yesterday morning. Ouch. He no likey. Our little pincushion cried right away, and then mommy cried along with him. But our little wounded soldier is all patched up, donning two band-aids on his right leg and one on his left.

From the parental perspective, all in all, it wasn’t too bad. Well, for me, anyway. Tania had a tough time with it. And Elliot, after initially getting over the painful pokes and feeling better, has been a bit of a grump today. Can’t blame him. No one likes being a pincushion.

Oh yeah, the updated stats: Elliot is just about 12 pounds and 23 inches long now, which places him roughly in the 50th percentile. Healthy boy!

-T

Sorry about the drop in posting frequency. And the drop in picture frequency. But please, no more threats. I’ve hired a bodyguard already. He’s highly trained in ju-jitsu and clay pottery, so I wouldn’t try anything.

Anyway, here’s some random late night thoughts.

• I’m no limit texas hold emplay video poker7 card stud low,7 card stud rules,7 card studtexas holdem game,free texas holdem game download,texas holdem poker gameonline poker downloadfree poker online,free online poker no download,play free poker onlineonline poker no downloadonline betting pokerfree online poker,free poker,free online poker gamebest internet pokerwin 7 card studplay poker gamecaribbean stud poker7 card stud gamefree video pokeronline roulette poker7 card stud strategiesstrip poker gamepoker software developmentpoker onlinefree online multiplayer poker game,free online poker,play free poker onlinepoker strategyonline poker schooltexas hold em poker onlinecelebrity pokerfree video poker gamemultiplayer poker onlinetexas holdem tournament strategy,texas holdem tournament,free texas holdem tournamentinternet poker softwarebest online pokerreal money online pokeronline texas holdem,free online texas holdem poker,play texas holdem poker onlinepoker card gamepoker game rulefree online 7 card studonline poker softwaredraw pokergambling pokerfree online video poker gamecaribbean pokerfree 7 card stud pokermac online pokerplay texas holdem free,play texas holdem online free,free texas holdem poker playvideo poker downloadonline poker strategyvideo poker bettinghold em pokeromaha poker ruleonline video pokerplay texas holdem online thoroughly annoyed. Just in general. And also in specific. Alrighty, now that that’s off my chest…
• Elliot is getting chubby! Pictures will appear soon.
• I often wonder how far I could chuck a diaper. Y’know, if I really put my arm into it. Come on. Be honest. You’ve wondered too. Some of those, if they’re packed tightly enough, seem like they’d fly a good fifty yards or more.
• Elliot’s been smiling a lot, but sometimes when he’s sleeping he’ll just bust up laughing. It’s the weirdest and funniest thing, and I think it’s my favorite thing that he does.
• A few weeks ago we bought an Amby Baby Motion Bed for Elliot to replace his bassinet. He’s not been a sound sleeper at all so far, and he’s had some reflux problems, so we thought we’d take a chance on it. So far it seems to be working much better, though it’s hard to tell what changes are due to the bed and not simply his growth in general. Full review coming eventually.
• Tania is a superhero. She should have her own comic book. And a cape. Capes are sweet.

I can’t really think of anything else snappy, smart, or shocking to say, so I’ll just say this.

-T

P.s. Get it? “this”? Ha ha. Sleepy time now.

P.p.s. “Sleepy time” Get it? Double ha ha.

It occurred to me recently that reading this blog–at least the posts written after Elliot was born–could possibly give folks the impression that parenthood, for us, has been relatively easy so far. This is probably due to my (sometimes intentional) tendency to focus on the positive rather than the negative (especially when asked directly).

Well, allow me to set the record straight: it’s been pretty stinkin’ difficult so far! Granted, one can always–and easily–find a hundred parents who’ve had a more difficult situation. But it’s still been a toughie for us. In fact, both Tania and I are often baffled, or at least tempted to cock an eyebrow, by some of the common adjectives and phrases we sometimes hear folks (who are not currently parents of newborns) use to describe the new-parent experience and feelings toward a new baby. Let’s see… Here’s a few off the top of my head: “fun”, “awesome”, “wonderful”, “happy”, “blessed”, “precious”, “bundle of joy”, “can you imagine life without him?” Yeah, I have a response. Uh, what??

Let’s examine these, shall we?

• “Fun” - Um, do I even need to bother with this one? Sleep deprivation, self-sacrifice, ear-ringing screams, no obvious reciprocation of love (though there’s the knowledge that it will come later)–yeah, not on my list of Top 10 Fun Things To Experience.
• “Awesome” - Not really. Look it up in the dictionary. Although, I’d definitely agree that it’s awe-inspiring to stare at Elliot and to see him stare back at me. Ok, ok, so with this one, maybe.
• “Wonderful” - So, if by “wonderful” one means having a quality that causes wonder, and if “wonder” is defined as “a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable” (Oxford American Dictionary), then yeah, totally. No doubt! But if by “wonderful” one means “inspiring delight, pleasure, or admiration; extremely good” (same dictionary), then maybe. Some of that, sometimes. He’s a baby, not an In-n-Out burger.
• “Happy” - C’mon, gimme a break. I mean, yeah, it does make me happy to look at him, to watch him grow, etc, but if I had to pick a word to define the newborn parenting experience so far, “happy” wouldn’t be my first choice. But maybe I’m just a jerk. Hmm. Nah.
• “Blessed” - Absolutely. Well, except the getting peed on part. Ok, well, maybe that too, in a sappy sort of way. But I think there’s an important distinction to be made between the actual meaning of the word “blessed” and a lot of meanings people often attach to the word “blessed”.
• “Precious” - If you ever catch me using the word “precious”, you have to right to slap me in the face with a rotten banana. Twice. Of course, I think when most people look at a baby and say, “Ooooooh, so precious!”, they actually mean “how cute” or “how sweet” or something else equally mushy. Actually, “precious” means to have great value. So then, yes, totally.
• “Bundle of joy” - Ok, as members of the human community, you deserve fair warning. If you say “bundle of joy” to either of us after a night of taking care of Mr. Slow-Eater McWon’t-Sleep-More-Than-An-Hour-Until-Needing-
  To-Be-Rocked-To-Sleep-For-An-Hour, you run the risk of getting bonked on the noggin with a moldy grapefruit. I carry one in my back pocket at all times.
• “Can you imagine life without him?” - Maybe it’s just because I’m a guy, but, actually, yes I can. Of course, I don’t want life to be without him. Duh. But, especially in the first month while I’m still trying to kill all my selfishness that fights against the self-sacrifice involved with being a parent, uh, yeah. I can imagine it. Of course again, this has nothing to do with how much I love Elliot. And with each day that goes by, I love him a ton more, and I just can’t imagine life without him. Because I…hold on, did I just…heeeeey, wait a minute!

Whew, alrighty then, got that out of my system. Hmm. Allow me (though you can’t stop me!) to suggest just one of the words we’d be more likely to use. “Rewarding.” Check it out. Rewards are gained, usually, through hard work, often accompanied by a firmly set jaw and not an ecstatic smile. Of course, every worthwhile journey, no matter how hard, has it’s smaller, more frequent rewards along the way, found and savored by those who look for them. But, conversely, rewards are also often given to those who aren’t seeking them.

-T

P.s. Alright, take it easy on me. I end up writing these things past midnight!